Coming around again...

It has been too long and I apologise to you and myself for not being here.

But here I am...coming around again. I love this song by Simon Webb.
I guess it is how I have been feeling a while now...in the darkness...waiting for colourful days. I am cannot put my finger on it exactly but here are few thoughts of why I have been feeling sorry for myself.
I feel as a stay at home mum that it is like ground-hog day...dropping kids off and picking up, washing, washing and more fricken washing! cooking and baking for the family, cleaning up, putting things away, washing dishes etc. It may sound like bliss to some which I respect but for me right now it ain't getting my creative, intellectual and happy juices flowing. I am in a rut!
Another thing is that I am lonely. I will go days without a text, phone call or visit from a loved one and for me this hurts. I thrive on companionship and friendship. I have decided I have high expectations of people in my life. This often means I feel let down eventually and then decide this person is not the best fit for me so gradually we go our separate ways. I expect people to not let me down and they always do because they are human. I am a strong believer in integrity which means I overcommit and end up stressed. I know I need to let this go. I once read a book 'What matters most?' the author I cannot remember but he said people will be there or carry out something if it is important to them and this way of thinking is what kills many of my friendships. Maybe the author got this wrong. Today someone I haven't seen in ages asked me how I was. I don't like faking happiness so I told her straight up which sounded quite glum and depressing and she responded "okay well I will see you around then." That was it and she was gone... So here are my high expectations which she didn't meet so therefore she doesn't care...goodbye. That is how it goes. What do you think? Am I being ridiculous? Or do I have a point? Are people not genuine any more and therefore don't know how to react when someone is with them? Help???
So...I am feeling bored, undervalued, purposeless and lonely but it will pass. I can see the sunlight is creeping in. 

So I had my whine above. My goal for this blog I have decided it to have my blah (my nays) on what is brassing me off and then I must finish by listing all the great things about my day (my yays). I encourage you to do the same. I want to create some simple connections...no expectations I promise. 

My yays for today! Spring is 2 days away here in the southern hemisphere. My garden is full of scrumptious veggies and the blossoms are bursting on my fruit trees. My two year old slapped me in the face only once today which is great for him. I got to cuddle my two week old niece. Dinner was easy because I prepared it this morning for the slow cooker. 

I am coming around again. xo

I been sitting in the darkness
But the sunlight's creeping in
Now the ice is slowly melting
In my soul and in my skin

All the good times my friend, yeah, yeah
Are coming around again
Oh yeah

I been thinking, reminiscing
Of better nights and better days
Hiding in a refuge of memories I've made
I got a feeling within, within
Its coming around again

It's coming around again
We been so long waiting
For the all time high
We got a damn good reason
So put your troubles aside

And all your winter sorrows
Hang em out to dry
Throw it away, you gotta throw it away
All the colorful days my friend
Are coming around again

Yeah yeah mmm
Yeah yeah

I can feel a change of fortune
No more riding on my love
Feel the weight is off my shoulders
As my feet become unstuck

And all the good times on which we do depend
Oh its coming around again

We been so long waiting
For the all time high
We got a damn good reason
So put your troubles aside

And all your winter sorrows
Hang em out to dry
Throw it away, you gotta throw it away
All the colorful days my friend
Are coming around again